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My Life's Worries

If life is like a box of Chocolates than my life is like a box of melted chocolates. If my life was like a box of chocolates then it would be more enjoyable to wake up every morning. Instead, my life is more like a box of melted chocolates, I just exist but have no purpose.

Today has been one of those days where I want to throw a pity party. Does someone want to bring the cheese to pair with my glass of "wine." Just when I thought things were improving in my life, my little bubble burst.

Ashley's appointment with the pulmonologist yielded no real answers but a tentative diagnosis of bronciospasms. However, Ashley does not have Asthma nor does she have allergies. The doctor explained to me that he feels that Ashley's cough is possibly caused by her throat closing on her and she coughs to get air in. Now, Ashley is on three more meds; a nebulizer, a nostril inhaler and Zantac 75. Ashley will still have a broncioscope that is being scheduled for sometime before Christmas. Yes, the cough could be liver related and it could be something totally different; we just don't know.

Keeping Ashley healthy is so important to me that I stress about her health and how I am going to manage things as her health gets worse. I worry about how I am going to balance being the same mom to Brad that he is use to and needs as Ashley requires more of my time due to her health. I worry about my health and how I am going to manage taking care of myself, how I am going to find time to take care of myself. I worry about Joey and how he is handling all of this and how he manages his family life with his very important busy work life. It's no wonder my blood pressure is through the roof!

On a positive note, the cookbooks sales are doing well; we have made almost $200 toward Ashley's medical fund. It's not much but it's a start. My mom tells me that she can easily sell 100 cookbooks in Mobile. Looks like we might need to increase our goal of having 50 cookbooks before Christmas to having 100 cookbooks for Christmas. Kendra...can you and Will handle that?

Love to all, Laurie

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