A Mother's Day Letter to Brad

Brad,

You may be to old to allow mommy to kiss you in public but I hope you know how much I love you. Brad, being your mom is one of my proudest accomplishments. As I watch you grow from this big baby boy to this wonderful young man, I can't help but smile with pride. You have been one of my greatest joys in life.

Reflecting on the 12 years that I have been your mom swells my heart with such love that I feel it might explode. Your laughter, your sense of humor, your love for your sister, your unconditional support of your friends means that I have done a wonderful job as your mother. You have become what I often tell my friends "every mother's dream." Sometimes I wonder why God gave you to me, why he trusted me to be your mom.

As I was holding you the day you were born, I remember the immediate feeling of overwhelming love. I also remember thinking how am I going to take care of boy. I had no idea what to do with a boy since I had no brothers. Being a first time mom to a boy made me scared and I was nervous that I would not do a good job. Brad, I hope that I have done a good job so far and I hope that you are proud that I am your mom.

I love you Brad and on this Mother's Day all I want is your love each and every day.

Love,

Mom

Comments

Living through Dance

In just about six weeks Ashley will dance, not just any dance; she will be competing in a big regional dance competition by dancing her very first solo. It's completely amazing, seeing Ashley dance, watching her live through dance. When Ashley was born almost 11 1/2 years ago, I never ever thought, we never thought Ashley would live to dance much else do her first solo. I can't believe I am crying as I type this. I didn't think I would get emotional. It's just amazing! When I put her in dance at age 3, I did it because I knew I needed to stop sheltering her. She needed to be around other children. She needed to feel normal despite what is trying to zap the life out of her; despite her disease. Honestly I never thought Ashley would be a good dancer or even a great dancer, I just knew dancing was safe; it was the one activity the doctors felt didn't put Ashley's life at risk. Little did I know how much dancing did and still d...

ALF vs COTA - Loosing Sleep

What would keep a person up past 3:30 am? Decisions... As most of you know we have been using ALF (American Liver Foundation) for Ashley's Liver Transplant Fund. However, in the past year, we have found that ALF is not offering us what we need among a few other reasons which I will not blog about. When we opened Ashley's account with ALF we did so quickly after the death of my dad during Christmas 2006 and New Year 2007, we did not have time to research the best fundraising organizations. There are so many organizations out there from ALF , COTA , NTAF . But because of my dad's untimely death and because his dying wish was that friends, family, etc. donate to Ashley to help defray our medical costs, the first organization that came to mind was the American Liver Foundation. After all, Ashley does have a liver disease. Now, both my husband and I are wondering if we should have used COTA. We have also thought and inquired about opening up a local trust fund for Ashley. Howeve...

Answers lead to more Questions

In great Ashley fashion, she did very well with her trip to the hospital and recovered well from the procedure. Right now, Ashley is off with her Grammie getting spoiled by shopping. With no one in the house but me and the pets, I am off to my own devices which usually means I have to much time to think, to research, to worry, to vent, to hope and to pray. Today Ashley had a broncioscope to find out why she has been coughing for six months. After getting up at 4:30 am and at the hospital at 6 am, the scope began at approximately 7:30 am. The procedure itself took less than 30 minutes. The outcome of the procedure left me with more questions than answers. We do know why Ashley is coughing, Ashley has a vocal cord dysfunction, enlarged adnenoids and tonsils. Finding out why Ashley is coughing is good news, however, we also learned that Ashley may have other issues involving her lungs. There was 60mL of fluid in her lungs. Some samples of her lungs were sent for a cell count, bacterial cu...

Love For Ashley

Search This Blog