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Living through Dance

In just about six weeks Ashley will dance, not just any dance; she will be competing in a big regional dance competition by dancing her very first solo.  It's completely amazing, seeing Ashley dance, watching her live through dance.  When Ashley was born almost 11 1/2 years ago, I never ever thought, we never thought Ashley would live to dance much else do her first solo.  I can't believe I am crying as I type this.  I didn't think I would get emotional.  It's just amazing! 

When I put her in dance at age 3, I did it because I knew I needed to stop sheltering her.  She needed to be around other children.  She needed to feel normal despite what is trying to zap the life out of her; despite her disease.  Honestly I never thought Ashley would be a good dancer or even a great dancer, I just knew dancing was safe; it was the one activity the doctors felt didn't put Ashley's life at risk.  Little did I know how much dancing did and still does to heal Ashley.  Ashley once told me, "Mom, dancing heals me."  She has also said, "When I dance I forget I have liver disease." 

Even as Ashley practices her solo at home at least once or twice a week and at the dance studio once a week, I still can't believe she is doing a solo. My baby, the baby no one thought would live to see her first birthday.  The baby who almost died three times before the age of 6 months.  The baby who spent her first two years in and out of hospitals and still continues her fight for life.  I firmly believe that dancing is doing a lot to give Ashley strength, not just physical strength but emotional strength.  Living through dance is what makes Ashley feel alive. 

Just six weeks from now, Ashley will perform on stage alone but cheered on by many. And I will be in the audience sitting there balling my eyes out.  Someone better video tape her performance because I am not sure I will be able to watch it through my tears!

Thanks Gaymarie, Danielle and Savannah.  Thanks so much for believing in Ashley, in her ability as a dancer.  Thank you!
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Comments

Tiffany said…
What a lovely post. Your Ashley is so sweet.
February 3, 2010 at 8:11 PM
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