My Life as a Mother - A Mother's Day Reflection

I truly believe that God put me on this planet to be a mom to Brad and Ashley. He knew that I would make a perfect mom to these two special children. I truly believe that being a mom is the one thing that I have done right in my life. To imagine my life without Brad and Ashley in it would mean not being able to imagine life.

A few days ago my sister, Renee and I were talking about how much we love our children. She said, that she loves her children, Marisa and Chris, as much as she loves her husband, Aldon. Honestly, I don't remember how we got on the topic but I told her that I love Brad and Ashley more than Joey, my husband. Don't get me wrong Joey is my best friend but my children are my life. I would survive without Joey in my life, I am not so sure I would survive the loss of one of my children.

When I was pregnant with Brad I remember thinking life doesn't get any better than this. After Brad was born I thought, life couldn't possibly get any better than this. Then I found out I was pregnant with Ashley, I thought it is possible that life could be better than once imagined. When I gave birth to Ashley and experienced the ups and downs of her first year, I thought how can life be any better. Now I look at Brad and Ashley as they become a preteen and a teenager, I know life can get better and I am really looking forward to the rest of my life as a mom to Brad and Ashley.

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Living through Dance

In just about six weeks Ashley will dance, not just any dance; she will be competing in a big regional dance competition by dancing her very first solo. It's completely amazing, seeing Ashley dance, watching her live through dance. When Ashley was born almost 11 1/2 years ago, I never ever thought, we never thought Ashley would live to dance much else do her first solo. I can't believe I am crying as I type this. I didn't think I would get emotional. It's just amazing! When I put her in dance at age 3, I did it because I knew I needed to stop sheltering her. She needed to be around other children. She needed to feel normal despite what is trying to zap the life out of her; despite her disease. Honestly I never thought Ashley would be a good dancer or even a great dancer, I just knew dancing was safe; it was the one activity the doctors felt didn't put Ashley's life at risk. Little did I know how much dancing did and still d...

ALF vs COTA - Loosing Sleep

What would keep a person up past 3:30 am? Decisions... As most of you know we have been using ALF (American Liver Foundation) for Ashley's Liver Transplant Fund. However, in the past year, we have found that ALF is not offering us what we need among a few other reasons which I will not blog about. When we opened Ashley's account with ALF we did so quickly after the death of my dad during Christmas 2006 and New Year 2007, we did not have time to research the best fundraising organizations. There are so many organizations out there from ALF , COTA , NTAF . But because of my dad's untimely death and because his dying wish was that friends, family, etc. donate to Ashley to help defray our medical costs, the first organization that came to mind was the American Liver Foundation. After all, Ashley does have a liver disease. Now, both my husband and I are wondering if we should have used COTA. We have also thought and inquired about opening up a local trust fund for Ashley. Howeve...

Answers lead to more Questions

In great Ashley fashion, she did very well with her trip to the hospital and recovered well from the procedure. Right now, Ashley is off with her Grammie getting spoiled by shopping. With no one in the house but me and the pets, I am off to my own devices which usually means I have to much time to think, to research, to worry, to vent, to hope and to pray. Today Ashley had a broncioscope to find out why she has been coughing for six months. After getting up at 4:30 am and at the hospital at 6 am, the scope began at approximately 7:30 am. The procedure itself took less than 30 minutes. The outcome of the procedure left me with more questions than answers. We do know why Ashley is coughing, Ashley has a vocal cord dysfunction, enlarged adnenoids and tonsils. Finding out why Ashley is coughing is good news, however, we also learned that Ashley may have other issues involving her lungs. There was 60mL of fluid in her lungs. Some samples of her lungs were sent for a cell count, bacterial cu...

Love For Ashley

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